University - Don't Bother

I like to think of myself as a well rounded invidual. I have traveled, I am educated and I am, by conventional standards, reasonably intelligent. Therefore, I have a piece of advice for all those McCarthyites out there who may be considering going to university - don't

Having just been through the vigours of three years of degree education, I can safely say it is not worth it in the slightest. The reason you are meant to go to univeristy that doesn't involve unhealthy food and constant Strongbow drinking is to better yourself by gaining qualifications that will put you ahead of the field and allow you to get a well paid job. Unfortunately, with the job market the way it is, that is now a load of bollocks.

I have been trying since May to obtain employment in the field I have trained myself in. And thus far, it is making Dawn French's diet look like a raging success. So Scott, I hear you cry, what should I do instead?

Well dear listener, the simple answer is do not apply for university. There is no point in working hard for three years just to find yourself saddled with an unpayable debt, no stream of solid income and sponging off your parents for food, water and a bed at the end of it.

If I could go back three years, I would have taken an entirely different path, so I urge you to consider these two options minions. Find yourself a woman (or if you are one, a man), get pregnant and then live off the benefits. It involves little to no effort at all on your part, and you can thoroughly enjoy taking the taxpayers money knowing that you didn't waste your own at university.

Alternatively, and it's one I am seriously considering at the minute, lose one of your legs in a vicious chain saw accident, and then claim benefits for the rest of your life for that. They can't expect you to work with one leg, after all